Nothing here is a recommendation to buy, sell or hold any digital asset, and nothing here alleges misconduct by any individual, company, foundation, exchange or regulator named. This is a historical study of one asset’s price against its own public record. Every return is a log return measured against Bitcoin unless stated otherwise; abnormal returns come from a market model whose intercept is retained, which flatters or penalises events that cluster in trending windows, and the sensitivity runs are described in the method section. Event classification and expected direction were assigned before returns were computed, but the classification is ours and another analyst would draw some of the lines differently. Statistics are in-sample, the long-horizon windows overlap heavily, and the 2025–26 episode dominates several results. Research and education, not investment advice.