Nothing here is a recommendation to buy, sell or hold any digital asset, and nothing here alleges misconduct by any individual, company, foundation, exchange or regulator named. The universe is what free data allows rather than a market-cap ranking: it under-represents 2021 and later launches and over-represents 2017 ERC-20 tokens, and vintage and class are confounded within it. Class assignments are ours and another analyst would draw some of the lines differently. Every statistic is in-sample over a single five-year window that contains one full cycle, cross-sectional information coefficients are computed on 53 assets a year, and the framework is offered with seven tests attached precisely because it has not yet survived them. Research and education, not investment advice.